


Life is Beautiful

by DarkPhoenixGoddess10



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26332645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkPhoenixGoddess10/pseuds/DarkPhoenixGoddess10
Summary: Sequel to "Home Sweet Home."Six years after marrying Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx, Nicole filed for divorce. Without a career of her own, she wondered what her life'd be like had she not pursued a modeling career and not met Nikki on that fateful day.The clock strikes midnight and she was brought to an alternate universe where she went to college and settled in a stable relationship. Yet, Nikki still popped up in her life. Life is beautiful and Nikki is part of that beauty.
Relationships: Nikki Sixx/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 12





	1. X-mas in Hell

**_December 16, 1994 - Troubadour, Los Angeles, CA_ **

Thirteen years ago, the band Motley Crue had their first performance here at Troubadour. Back then, all four members - Nikki, Mick, Tommy, and Vince - were relatively unknowns. The audience wasn’t ready for them at all. Long story short, the crowd booed at them in foul language and gave them fingers. Vince got spit on and a brawl began. Nikki jumped into the crowd to defend the frontman. It was chaotic for their first performance - but on a positive note, it was the chaos that won the crowd.

Now, thirteen years later, everything was different. First, the band’s line up changed. Vince Neil had left the group; either he quit or he was fired. The new frontman, John Corabi, was almost the exact opposite of Vince Neil. The group was happy with their new frontman, but the audience was not. The change in style and tune in the band’s new album didn’t help much either. The reception from the crowd was lukewarm at best. 

After the performance was over, Nikki wished the crowd happy holidays. All he had in mind about was to go home to his family - his wife Nicole and their four-year old son Gunner. Nicole  knew literally nothing about rock or music, despite spending the entire  _ Dr. Feelgood _ Tour with him. She was on the same page with him on Vince, though. Jokingly, she said that John Corabi is Nikki’s Jane Seymour with features of Anne Boleyn. Nikki had no idea what she’s talking about.

But that was why he loved her.

After he got into his Ferrari, his phone rang. “Hello?”

“Dad!” It was his son Gunner. “Dad! You have to come home quick!”

“What is it buddy?”

“It’s mom! She’s on the floor!”

“Gunner, calm down,” Nikki comforted his son. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“Dad, I’m scared!”

“It’s alright buddy,” Nikki said. “I’m on my way. I need you to be brave. Call 911 and tell them exactly what you’ve told me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I will be home soon! I’m going to hang up and remember, 911.”

In his Ferrari, he raced down the street. When he came back to his Van Nuys mansion, an ambulance was already there. He bolted inside and saw little Gunner with the paramedics.

“Dad!” He jumped into Nikki’s arms and hugged him tightly.

“We are taking your wife to the hospital,” a paramedic told him. “She’s having appendicitis.”

Nikki nodded. “Buddy, we are going to the hospital,” he said to his son. “Mom will be fine.”

He drove to the hospital with Gunner. After they arrived, however, they were informed that Nicole was taken to a different unit. Immediately, Nikki remembered what had happened four years ago when Gunner was born. At the time, they thought Nicole was having appendicitis, but she was actually in labor. He dialed Aunt Toni and asked her to take Gunner to her house.

“Gunner,” Nikki said to his son. “I need you to be a big boy and go with Aunt Toni, alright?”

He kissed his son goodbye as the little boy went with Aunt Toni. After seeing Gunner off, he rushed into the delivery room. Covered in sweats, Nicole was pale like a ghost. “Here we go again,” she panted.

He took her hand and wiped her forehead. “It’s all right, baby, I’m here.”

Unlike when she had Gunner, this birth was much more difficult. The child was upside down. After fourteen hours, the doctor asked her if she would like to consider c-section.

“No,” Nicole shook her head vehemently with fear.

“Baby,” Nikki tried to change her mind. “You suffered long enough. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“No,” Nicole said. “I don’t...want a knife to cut me apart...Too scary...I’m going to push this kid out.”

"Baby-"

"It's my fucking body! It's my fucking uterus and I do whatever I fucking want! You talk to me when you have an uterus!"

It took her another four hours before she had another boy and went out cold.

“Baby?!” Nikki panicked. “Baby? Talk to me.”

Yet, Nicole was out of consciousness like she was dead. The doctor ordered Nikki to leave the room and paged other doctors. The nurses had to literally push him out, but still, he saw the blood. In the lobby, he waited and waited.

December...why does it always have to be December? But it means that Nicole will pull it through, right?

After the longest wait in his life, the doctor came tell him that Nicole is all right. She had a severe bleeding but she’d live.

* * *

**November 26, 1996, Beverly Hills**

Nicole was spending this Thanksgiving at Aunt Toni’s house. It’d be her, Aunt Toni, and her two small sons, Gunner and Tucker. Nikki was in rehab, again. He had fallen off the wagon. Nicole told Gunner that his dad is sick and in treatment. What she did not tell him was that she had filed for divorce.

At the dinner table, Gunner split his meal in two portions.

“What are you doing?” Nicole asked, feeding Tucker, who’s barely two. 

“I’m saving some for Dad,” Gunner said.

The boy just loved his dad, no matter what. To him, his dad is his idol, hero, and best friend. Sometimes, Nicole was afraid that Gunner would sneak out of the house to go find Nikki.

“Gunner, eat,” Nicole said. 

“If he’s not eating then I’m not eating!” he said and ran off.

Nicole shook her head. “I knew it was a bad idea when Nikki let Vince rejoin the band. Vince is a bad influence. He is the band’s Achilles’ Heel.”

“NiNi, I don’t believe it’s all about that frontman,” Aunt Toni said. “Soap operas change ensemble all the time. It’s never just one character or one actor that ruins the show. It’s easier to find a scapegoat than looking at the real reason.”

“He started drinking on that very day Vince came back,” Nicole said. “I saw that. I wish Dad was here. He’d help Nikki make a better judgment.”

Tom Ireland had passed away three months ago from an unexpected heart attack. When Vince left the group, he sued his band members for profit and damage. Tom represented the band in their case against Vince. Though Tom was very good at his job, he didn’t get along well with Nikki or Tommy. He called Tommy “big mouth”. When he died, Nicole was inconsolable. Nikki was there with her but Nicole sensed that he was secretly happy that her father’s gone. After all, Tom was more like a strict disciplinarian he never wanted or asked for.

After she learned that Vince is coming back, Nicole wasn’t thrilled; and neither was Tommy. In secrecy, Tommy told Nicole that since she had Tucker, Nikki became different. She agreed with him. It seemed that Nikki was avoiding her. Either he was at the studio working with the guys or he was taking Gunner out to play. She did try to talk to Nikki about it, especially on how he’s neglecting Tucker. Nikki explained that he doesn’t want Gunner to feel abandoned after having a sibling out of the blue. Tommy felt that Nikki and Vince bonded over family trauma. Vince had lost his daughter Skylar to cancer. Nikki, of course, nearly lost Nicole after having Tucker. Because Nicole didn’t want to talk about her second near-death experience, her conversation with Tommy went nowhere. 

It was not until she started to find liquor bottles around the house did she realize how serious the problem became, especially one day when she saw Gunner playing with one.

“Why are you doing this?” Nicole confronted him, showing him the liquor bottle. “I saw Gunner playing with it.”

“I might have a few shots,” Nikki replied with his speech slurring.

“Try fifteen!” Nicole raised her voice. She found at least fifteen bottles around the house. Apparently Nikki tried to hide them, but failed because his mind wasn’t clear. “This needs to stop.”

“It’s my fucking money,” he said. “It’s my fucking house. I do whatever I fucking want.”

“You need help-”

“Find some job,” he said. “Make your own fucking money and then you come and talk to me. Your dad isn’t around to back you up anymore, baby.”

That did it. 

Nicole quietly packed her bags. When Nikki was out with Vince, she put Gunner and Tucker in her Mercedes and drove to Aunt Toni’s house. She refused to let Nikki speak to Gunner.

“Not until you’re clean,” she gave him the ultimatum. “And we’re getting a divorce. We’ll make arrangements for the boys. But if you are not clean, don’t even think that you can come anywhere near them!”

She had stayed with Aunt Toni ever since; and it had been a month. Gunner constantly asked her when they’re going home. The last time she spoke to Nikki, he was in rehab. He promised her that he’ll be clean and stay clean. He begged her to withdraw the divorce filing. 

“NiNi, you should reconsider your divorce filing,” Aunt Toni said as she ate. “Nikki is turning himself around. Things weren’t easy for him either. When your father lost your mother, it was hard. He didn’t marry again not only because he loved your mother. It was the fear of losing another loved one. Nikki nearly lost you when you had Tucker. He’s afraid-”

“And things are easier for me?” Nicole rolled her eyes. “It’s not just about Tucker or my out of blue pregnancies. It’s about me wanting to live my own life. Nothing in that Scarface mansion is mine! It’s all his. In his words, it’s his house and his money. Where is mine? Before I married him, you told me not to be his shadow.”

“And what is your plan after leaving him?” Aunt Toni asked her. “What career or job are you pursuing? What about college? How are you going to take care of your children and study or work?”

“I don’t know.”

“And what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know!” Nicole said in frustration. “Nikki still have to pay support so I think-”

“The support is for you to raise the children,” Aunt Toni said. “And it’s still his money.”

“I don’t know!” Nicole said. “I don’t want to go back to modeling because I don’t want to run into another musician or actor with the same type of problem. I don't want to go back to college because it’s all a pointless investment of money. Four years and study what? A lot of people are doing jobs that they didn’t go to college for. All I know is that I want to be Nicole Angelique Ireland again.”

“NiNi, if Nikki gets clean, at least let him see the boys.”

“I’m not that cruel,” Nicole said. “Now I’m wondering had I followed the path Dad advised me, what would my life be like now? Gone to college instead of modeling?”

“The same.”

“What?”

“You and Nikki are soul mates. Soul mates always find each other no matter where or when.”

“Now I really wish there’s a time machine and I can go back and change everything.”

She got up and went up to her room.

* * *

She got in bed and turned her phone off. She buried her face in the pillows and cried. Soon it’d be Christmas. 

A Christmas in Hell.

_ Had I went to college, I wouldn’t be called to do that photoshoot. Then I wouldn’t have met Nikki. I wouldn’t end up marrying him and pop out two kids out of blue. _

_ No Christmas in Hell _

_ No Nikki.... _

She closed her eyes as the clock struck twelve.


	2. Girl with Golden Eyes (AU)

**_October 14, 1989_ **

She boarded the plane and settled in her first class seat. The flight was to Essen, Germany. She was to visit different German towns and cities to explore the origin of the Grimm’s fairy tales; it was for a school project that she was very excited about. When she told her father about the trip, he was not thrilled.

“Dad, I’ll be fine,” she told him. “It’s only going to for two weeks.”

“West Germany?”

“Yes,” she assured him. “I’m not going to the other side of the Berlin Wall.”

“Did you tell Mark yet?”

“I’ll tell him when I get there.”

“Mark cares for you, Nicole,” her Dad said. “He’s a great guy. Don’t break his heart.”

Pursuing a dual degree in French and German and having a fiance - how could she handle that? She was behind on her readings and assignments because Mark couldn’t stop bothering her. He needed her around or at least hear her voice. She should’ve recorded her voice on a tape and sent it to him so he could stop bothering her. 

She was so busy catching up that she barely had the time to wash her hair.

On the plane, her scalp was itching so badly it was driving her nuts.

When the flight stewardess was serving wine, an idea came to her mind. She remembered reading about Empress Elisabeth of Austria, who used Brandy to wash her hair three times a week. She told the stewardess that she likes to buy a bottle of Brandy. She popped it open and went to the bathroom; but the space was too jammed.

She went to the bar area and found an empty seat. _Perfect_ , she thought. _But wait, I need a towel._

She had a towel in her bag. She took a seat in the bar area. Tilting her head back, with her long, waving brown hair behind the back of the chair, she poured the Brandy on her head. 

“What are you doing?” the bartender shrieked. Other were took notice as well. 

“Sorry, I really need to wash my hair,” Nicole explained, using the towel to wipe her face.

“Look at this mess,” the bartender rebuked, taking the wine bottle away. He called the stewardess to clean it up. “What were you thinking?”

“My scalp was driving me crazy,” Nicole defended herself. “Plus, what I’m doing is much safer than what other people are doing in this bar. Smoking is more dangerous than using Brandy to wash hair.”

“Go back to your seat.” The bartender was annoyed. "Good god a bottle of Brandy!"

“Fine.” Nicole went back to her seat. Her scalp was less itchy now though her hair was sticky. It'd be fine, she’d rinse it out once she gets to her hotel.

“That was uncool,” a guy with jet black long hair sat next to her. He got tattoos all over his arms.

“Is this your seat?”

“No,” he said with a smile. “But I saw what you did and I want to tell you that was fucking uncool.”

“Why?” She asked. “I don’t like you swearing, by the way. That is _really_ uncool.”

“You wasted a good bottle of Brandy,” he said. “Everyone can smell it now because it’s in your hair. I have a friend who got clean and he can fall off the wagon because of you.”

“I think that friend of yours is yourself.”

“He’s not.”

“Regardless who he is, he would not fall off the wagon if he chooses not to. Alcohols are everywhere and we are heading to Europe. Alcohols are everywhere.”

He raised an eyebrow after seeing the ring on her left hand.

“Where's your fiance?”

“He's not with me.”

“Looks like you are flying to Germany to get away from him.”

“Excuse me, what’s between my fiance and I is none of your business, Mr….”

“You can call me Frankie.”

“And you can call me Angelique,” Nicole said, using her middle name. “You don’t look like a Frankie.”

“You got that fucking right.”

“What do you do for living?”

“I’m a poet. You?”

“I don’t know yet,” Nicole replied. “I think I’d be an interpreter. I study German and French. I’m heading to Germany for a project.”

“What’s the project?”

“I’m visiting the cities and towns where the Grimm’s Brothers went,” she told him. “The Grimms’ Fairy Tales.”

“Aren’t you a little too old for fairy tales?”

“Fairy tales are darker than you think,” Nicole said. “As a poet, you should’ve known that. Disney made it for kids, but the originals are not nice at all.”

“Walt Disney is a fucking perv himself.”

“And he is the same man who smiled next to Mickey Mouse,” she said. “Some people have an innocent face but bore a dark secret.”

“Some have a bad guy image but a kind heart.”

“Aren’t all humans the same? Yin and Yang?” She said, eyeing his black and white outfit. “You should be a motivational speaker, Frankie. I like your voice.”

“You should be a novelist,” he said. “You will fail as an interpreter.”

“Why?”

“Because you are all about imagination,” he said.

“You have your poetry?”

“Yeah, hold on,” he got up and came back with a notebook. Nicole flipped through the pages.

“Ah, I see a spelling error,” she pointed out. “ _Here I come_. You spelled it wrong.”

“It’s not. It is what it is.”

“What is that? This _cum_?”

He burst out laughing. “You need to see someone else. Your fiance is not the one for you.”

“Have you ever been in love before?”

“Fuck yeah, a girl with golden eyes.”

“Persian?”

“I guess, she was irresistible and it was love,” he said. “I could never get away from her. She was always by my side.”

“So what happened?” She asked carefully, assuming this girl is probably dead.

“She’s not in my life anymore.”

“Sorry.”

“I’m not.”

“Sounds like she wasn’t a healthy person for you,” Nicole said.

“Brandy isn’t good for you either,” he said. “Your hair I mean. You should try Champagne.”

“Okay, no Brandy for me, or my hair, and no girl with golden eyes for you.”

He leaned over and kissed her on the lips. She tried to pull away but he deepened the kiss. More she tried to resist, the more he deepened the kiss.

“Frankie, I am engaged,” she said after he stopped kissing her. “Mark loves me. When I need the space, he respects that. I’m saving it for marriage.”

“Is it because of a tradition or that you just don’t want to be with him?” He asked. “When’s the big day?”

She looked away. Mark was a law student working at her father’s firm. It was her father who introduced him to her. The ring on her hand belonged to her mother. Her father was there when Mark proposed. The three were having dinner together. One thing led to another. Next thing she knew, Mark was expressing his desire to marry her. Nicole reminded him that he doesn’t even have a ring. Her father got up and came back with the engagement ring that belonged to her mother - and that was how she got engaged. 

Mark was nice, decent looking but lacked a personality. He was not a bad boy for sure, but he was boring as heck.

After the plane landed, Nicole got up and saw Frankie went with three friends. Based on how they wore their hair and the tattoos on their arms, she assumed they were some free-spirited hippies. 

“Hey Frankie!” She yelled at him loudly. “Angelique is my middle name. My name is Nicole.”

He gave her a love gesture. He watched as she got off the plane. That girl must be living under a rock, he thought, not knowing who I am. 

Frankie was his real name. Everyone else in America called him Nikki.

Nikki fucking Sixx, bassist and founder of Motley Crue.

He hated his real name, yet he didn't know why he revealed it to her. He'd flip if anyone called him that. But with her, it seemed that he could never lose his temper. 

* * *

**_October 1996_ **

With a suit jacket over a classy black dress, Nicole stepped out of her car and headed into a business building. Her spirit was low.

Her father had passed away two months ago from a sudden heart attack.

She still wore her engagement ring, but the wedding had been postponed - again.

When she and Mark became engaged, her father gave them his blessing. They planned to wed after she finished her college. That got postponed because she started her job as an interpreter for an international financial firm. The wedding got postponed for the second time because she wasn't ready. Now that her father passed away, the wedding was postponed for the third time. 

Her boss’ assistant came to find her after she sat in her desk. 

“Mr. Robertson needs to speak with you,” she said. “I like your hair, by the way."

“Thanks,” Nicole said. She used to wear her hair very long, but after her father’s death, she needed a change. After watching a rerun of _The Friends_ episode “The One with the Evil Orthodontist”, she went to a hair salon and asked for the same haircut as the character Rachel Green had. It was a change but a good change.

She knocked on her boss’ door.

“Come on in Nicole,” he said and closed the door behind him.

“Is everything okay?” She asked.

“No,” he said. “First I want to say that I’m very sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man and I’m forever grateful that he was my lawyer. As for you, you are very talented Nicole. You are smart, but you made a big mistake.”

“What mistake?” Nicole was confused.

“Our partner firm in France...they called me last evening, very upset. They said that in the memo they received from you, it says that their investments are all... _fucked_.”

He showed her the memo.

She was the one who wrote it. The word “baiser” was circled in red.

“Oh no,” she saw her mistake. The original phrase was that the investment returns are going to be lowered due to the economy. In French, the word “ _basser_ ” means to decrease or lower. Yet, she used the word “ _baiser_ ” instead.

And that means to fuck.

In other words, in the memo she prepared, she was telling their French partner firm that the investment returns are all fucked. 

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I...I didn’t mean…”

“Because of this mistake in translation I was on the phone with them for hours,” Mr. Robertson said. “They tried to speak English but they are impossible to understand.”

“I know.”

“Nicole, I’m very sorry. I like you as a person but this…”

* * *

So she got fired. 

She was like walking in a fog.

She went to her car but for some reasons, the key didn’t work. She started to bang her fists against the car window until a guy came to her.

“What are you doing?” He asked. He wore a top hat over his long frizzle hair.

“My car key is not working,” Nicole explained. “I don’t know what happened.”

“This car is mine,” he said, taking out his key and pressed the unlock button; it worked. 

“Then where’s mine?” She looked around and didn't see her car anywhere. 

“You remember where you parked?”

Only then she realized that she didn’t have her purse. Wait a minute, she must have left it in her car. But if her car wasn’t here, then...

Oh no, she must have forgotten to lock the car door as well!

“Are you all right?” He asked. 

“No,” she said. “I think my car is stolen. My purse is in my car which means it is stolen too.”

“You want me to call the police?” He took out his cell phone.

Nicole just stood there numbly. The guy called the police anyway. 

What happened next, she remembered very vaguely, from the time when the police arrived to the time when that guy offered to take her home.

“My friends call me Slash,” he said. “Everything will be alright. This thing happens all the time.” 

“You can say that,” she said. She thanked him when he dropped her off. 

* * *

She went into her apartment and heard music playing.

And moaning sounds.

All came from Mark's bedroom. 

She went in there, and found him riding a girl with a song playing in the back.

_10 seconds of love...10 seconds of love...Pull my trigger...my guns loaded with your love!_

Sounds familiar. Had she heard it somewhere?

She turned the music off and the two stopped in their lovemaking.

That girl looked at her; she got golden eyes.

“Hello,” she greeted her in Persian.


	3. Van Nuys (AU)

The girl with golden eyes was a blonde with large breasts. Surprisingly, after seeing her banging her fiancé, Nicole didn’t harbor an ounce of jealousy or animosity towards her. She grabbed a chair and sat. 

“Honey,” Mark tried to explain.

“Don’t,” Nicole said in exhaustion, burying her face in her palms. “I’m having a bad day and you are not helping.”

The girl with golden eyes said something in Persian.

“ _ Sors d’ici _ !” Nicole ordered, assuming Persians understood French since Iran is a francophone country. “ _ Et habilles-toi! _ ”

The girl grabbed her clothes and her Motley Crue CD. 

“It’s not what you think, darling,” Mark said, after the Persian girl left. “I met her at a CD store. She and I are both Motley Crue fans.”

“I know,” Nicole said. “My day couldn’t be more fucked and funny thing, it’s all because of the word  _ fuck _ .”

“Wow, this is the first time I ever hear you swear more than once in a sentence.”

“Rock music is outdated and we are not in the eighties anymore,” she went on. “Motley Crue is no longer on top. Nobody cares about them anymore.”

“Not true!” Mark jumped out of the bed and put on his boxers. “Motley Crue will make a comeback! Vince Neil has returned! Nikki will make it work! They are good guys, and you know your dad was their attorney? Your dad represented Nikki and he was there when the group reunited. I wish I was there.”

“But why weren’t you?” 

Mark was one of the attorneys who worked in her father’s law firm.

“Because your dad won’t let me,” Mark said. “He said that I can’t think straight when it comes to Motley Crue. Anyway, name any other man who came back from death. Nikki Sixx did. He died for about two minutes and he was revived from two shots of adrenaline in the heart. You know what’s more amazing? It happened on December 23rd, which is-”

“My birthday,” Nicole stood up and went to his Motley Crue poster. It featured four young men with big hair. She took that poster down and tore it into pieces. “Mark, you need to grow up and stop dreaming about this Motley Crue. I think it’s crystal clear that our relationship is not going to work. I don’t like rock and you cheated, but I don’t blame you. I’m having a bad day and apparently, I can’t stay here because I’m going to lose my  _ fucking  _ mind.”

She threw the pieces of the torn poster on the floor and walked out of the apartment, leaving behind the smirking face of a young Nikki Sixx and a devastated Mark. 

* * *

Where could she go?

Nicole had no idea. She only wanted to be away from that apartment that she shared with Mark. Her dad had urged her to buy a house before he passed away. Now, it was clearly a good thing that she did not. What would be next for her? If she were to move out, where would she live?

She knew Aunt Toni, her one and only family, would welcome her. However, she wanted to live on her own. Then again, without a job, how could she pay rent? 

Like a lost soul, she wandered aimlessly on the street. All she had in her pocket were her keys - a key to the apartment where her now ex-fiance lives and a key to her car that was stolen. Her purse was stolen too, which meant she didn’t have cash, credit card, or even her ID. 

No father.

No place to live.

No job.

No money.

And no identification.

She was like Grand Duchess Anastasia Nicholeivna of Russia, if that princess had escaped from the bloody hands of Boleshivks. Who knows? Maybe a car hit her and she’d lose her memories. Her Aunt Toni would promise a big reward for anyone who can find her. A shady guy found her and groomed her to act like Nicole Ireland, not knowing that she’s actually the real Nicole Ireland. At her reunion with Aunt Toni, she introduced herself as “NiNi”, a nickname only Aunt Toni knows. They would embrace and the shady guy found his conscience. He quietly walked away without his reward...

Funny how she rebuked Mark for being childish. She was still fascinated about princesses and royalties for a woman in her twenties. 

It started to rain and her feet were hurting. She found herself before a tattoo parlor. She never cared for tattoos and couldn’t afford one anyway. As it rained harder, she looked around for a shelter. She didn’t want to enter a bar or store, assuming they’d kick her out since she wasn’t there to buy anything. She saw a black car and opened its door; it wasn’t locked. She curled up in the back seat. Who cares whose car it is? If the owner gets mad and kills her, it’d be the best.

Minutes later, the front door opened. The car started and went off. The driver - whoever he was - blasted the music through the stereo. It was so loud that Nicole covered her ears. She sat up and met the driver’s green eyes in the rear view mirror. Quickly, the driver pulled over. Without wearing a seatbelt, she hit her head against the car door and everything went black.

* * *

When she came to, she found herself in a bed under warm blankets. She touched her forehead and found a bump. Rubbing her eyes, she tried to find her strength to get out of the bed. Cold air against her skin gave her goosebumps. 

It was then she realized that she was wearing nothing except for her panties.

She never slept naked!

She looked for her clothes but only found a black robe on a chair nearby; its size was very big for her. Well, anything better than nothing. As she threw on that robe, she smelled cooking from downstairs.

She was hungry.

So she headed downstairs, and found a tall man with short black hair in the kitchen. He was shirtless with his back to her. His entire back was covered in tattoos. Nicole’s imagination went wild.

_ Was he a gangster? A drug dealer? Or even worse, a pimp? _

Despite the bump on her head, she didn’t lose her mind. She knew she was in a stranger’s house.

And this stranger had seen her naked. 

Not even Mark had ever seen her naked flesh.

“Hi,” she greeted nervously. 

He turned, and she saw his chest was covered in tattoos as well with a Chinese symbol. His left nipple also wore a ring. 

_ Oh mine, I’m with Scarface!  _ She thought.

He placed two plates on the counter bar. “Come sit,” he offered. “I made dinner.”

Nicole couldn’t stop looking at him, especially his arms. She had seen shirtless men before, mostly on screen. Last time she saw a real naked man was back when she was sixteen in Detroit. It was in a hotel where she saw a crazy, skinny naked man with a guitar through the peephole. This time, she had a shirtless man only inches away. He had a pair of boxers on. His legs were rather skinny, but his arms were muscular. Slowly, she began to envision herself being embraced by him.

_ His arms around her. _

_ Her face pressed against his chest… _

_ Or heart... _

“What’s on your mind?” He asked.

“Nothing,” she mumbled. “What is this place?”

“My beach house,” he replied. “In Malibu.”

There was something about his face. He had a typical bad boy look, yet his eyes were gentle. He was either a devilish good boy or a bad boy with a soul.

“Smells good,” she commented, as he filled her plate with food. “Where are my clothes?”

“Still drying,” he told her. “How’s your head?”

“Hurts,” she said. “What happened earlier, I…”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I get that a lot. Once I got girls taking my car’s batteries out just to spend some fucking time with me.” He studied her face and asked, “You know who I am, don’t you?”

“You are a TV star I assume?”

“You can say that.”

“ _ America’s Most Wanted _ ?”

He laughed. “No, and I don’t take offense. I’m a father to a little boy myself and what happened to John Walsh, it was fucking sick and messed up. I had my run-in with the laws.” Eyeing the ring on her left hand, he asked, “You want to give your fiancé a call?”

“I don’t have a fiancé anymore,” she replied. “I walked in on him when he was having sexual intercourse with another woman.”

“My ex-wife cheated on me too,” he said. “Our divorce is now finalized. It was fucking nasty. I used to live in Van Nuys. I had a house, where I screwed up three times. I was shooting heroin, I married the wrong woman, and I fell off the wagon. I gave my house to my ex-wife so that she doesn’t have to relocate. I want to see my son.”

“Well, I guess I’m luckier that I found out my fiancé isn’t the right guy for me before I married him.”

“Mind telling me your name?” He asked her.

“Angelique,” Nicole replied. Habitually, when strangers asked for her name, she’d give them her middle name. “You?”

“Nikki.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“I’m in a band. You?”

“I used to be an interpreter, but not anymore,” she told him. “Are you heading back to Van Nuys anytime soon?”

Nikki chuckled. “No, I fucking hate that place. I only go there to see my son.”

“What’s his name?”

“Dekker,” he said. “You got any kid?”

“No,” she replied.

“Why are you still wearing his ring?”

“It’s not his,” Nicole said. “It’s my mother’s.”

He poured her a cup of juice. “Well, we are in Malibu, not Van Nuys.” He reached over and touched her forehead. “How is it?”

Her face reddened when she felt the warmth of his fingertip. It wasn’t just her face. Something became funny in between her thighs. She closed up her legs tightly and kept her eyes low. “It’s fine, tell me a bit more about Van Nuys.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Job opportunities,” she said quickly, avoiding his gaze. 

“I don’t want to talk about fucking Van Nuys,” he said. “You don’t want to fucking talk about Van Nuys either.”

“Yes, I do. I want a new job.”

“No you don’t. You want to get fucked.”

“Excuse me?” She got up and said, “You know what? I think Van Nuys is a beautiful place. It got job opportunities, great housing, good people, good food…”

She went on and on, trying not to look at him. In her mind, she was reciting all the titles of the Harlequin novels she read. The way they were now - shirtless Nikki and her only wearing a robe - would be a perfect picture for a Harlequin novel coverage.

“Fuck Van Nuys, I have a hot tub,” he said.

“What?” She stopped talking.

“I have a hot tub,” he repeated. 

“I save sex for marriage,” she said quickly.

He chuckled. “I’m only telling you that I have a hot tub in my beach house. Would you like to use it? I can guarantee you it’s better than Van Nuys.”


	4. Permission (AU)

He had a huge hot tub. 

He turned it on, and she could feel the steam from the water. Nicole loved hot tubs. As the tub was filled with water, she waited for him to leave to give her some privacy. To her surprise, Nikki took off his boxers and stepped into the hot tub himself. 

“Oh,” she tried to look away though she already saw his butts and his  _ thing _ . “I...assume you have another hot tub?”

“No,” he replied, sitting down. “This is the one and only hot tub in this house.”

“Okay then,” Nicole said. “I’m sorry I misunderstood. Let me know when you are done-”

“Get in,” he said.

“What?” Her face was blushed deeply.

“Get in,” he said again. “I’ve told you that I have a hot tub and you can use it.”

“But do you have a bathing suit?” Nicole asked, wrapping her arms around her. 

“You don’t need a fucking bathing suit. Just step in. There’s nobody here except for you and me,” Nikki said. “Plus, I’ve already seen your body. You are beautiful by the way.”

“Wait, exactly what part of my body have you seen?”

“Whatever was there,” he said. “I did what I have to do to keep you warm. Your clothes were all wet. Hypothermia is dangerous.”

“How inappropriate!”

“We are in the 90s,” Nikki stretched out his arms. “I’m going to enjoy my fucking time. You can join me any time you want.”

After a long, hard, bad day, soaking in a hot tub could definitely help. But he was in it, au naturel. Still, what could go wrong? He had seen her naked and didn’t do anything to her, which meant she could trust him. 

Carefully, she removed the robe and her panties and quickly stepped into the tub. She splashed water around her to make more bubbles to protect her modesty. 

“Come closer, I don’t bite,” Nikki teased. 

She moved a few inches closer. 

The water was good. Instantly she relaxed.

“Ever heard of the word cum?” He asked.

“Of course,” she said, leaning back. “Like you said, ‘come’ closer. It’s a very well known word.”

“Your poor thing,” Nikki laughed. “You missed a fucking lot of pleasure in life.”

“Like sex?” Nicole looked at him, trying not to look at his cock. “I know what sex is about. It’s a union between a man and a woman that creates children. Other words for it include banging, sexual intercourse, or fuck. In French, it’s  _ baisser _ .”

Yes,  _ baisser  _ \- the word that got her fired.

“It’s more than that,” he said to her. “See, you treat it like a fucking job, but it can be more than that. If you are with the right guy, sex can help you relax, reduce your headaches, and improve your sleep. Now if your head is clouded, sex can help you find the answer.”

“What is it for you like during sex? How does it feel?” Nicole asked with curiosity. Although in her twenties, she was still a virgin. Like what she had told Nikki, she saved sex for marriage. She had heard about it from others, but never experienced one herself.

Nikki leaned over and whispered something in her ear.

“Wow,” Nicole muttered, feeling something funny between her legs. Keeping her thighs closed, she asked. “What kind of positions have you done?”

“Pretty much all of it.”

“What’s your favorite?”

“Don’t really have one.”

“When did you lose your virginity, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Back when I was in high school in Jerome, Idaho,” Nikki said. “It was with a girl named Suzie. She and I were both nerds. She called me, saying that she has a present for me - BJ.”

“Her parents own a warehouse club?”

“No,” Nikki shook his head. “You have a lot to learn. Anyway, she asked me to come to this house where she was babysitting. She answered the door wearing only a lingerie. Nobody was home except for me and Suzie, and of course, the babies she was watching-”

“Whoa,” Nicole covered her ears. “You lost your virginity with babies in the house?”

“Well, you want to know and this is how I lost my virginity.” He reached over to play with her hair.

“Where is this Suzie now?”

“Still in Idaho, I think,” he said. “Probably owning a potato farm.”

She looked down and said, “Mark was my fiancé. I met him through my dad. My dad gave us his blessing before he passed away. Mark is nice, decent but it never clicked. Our wedding got postponed three times. I have to admit, I was not looking forward to it. If I marry him, I’ll just have one kid with him and that’d be it.”

“You don’t love him.”

“No,” she admitted. “Besides Mark, I never dated anyone else, but there was this one guy.” She looked at him and he waited for her to continue. “I met him on my flight to Germany. It was six years ago. He gave me a kiss, and it was a kiss I will never, ever forget. His name is Frankie and he’s a poet. Whenever I’m in a bookstore, I’d look out for a book of poetry by an author named Frankie or Frank. I don’t know where he is now, but I wish him well.”

“You just wish him well?” Nikki questioned. “Nothing more?”

Nicole got up and stepped out of the tub. She didn’t seem to be uncomfortable to bare her body around him anymore. Nikki turned off the tub as she put the robe back on. 

“You want to crash here for the night?” He asked.

She paused. “I…”

“You don’t want to leave,” he said, grabbing a towel. “Stay for the night.”

She was silent. A part of her wanted to stay and the other part of her was afraid to.

“You are so afraid of love,” he said. “Look, I I promise you on my life that I won’t do anything without your permission.”

* * *

The bedroom was simple but the bed was huge. Just like when he was in the hot tub, he was au naturel when he was in bed. Nicole wrapped a towel around her body and slipped under the cover. She peeked at his arms and turned her back to him. The pillows and the mattress were very comfortable, but her mind was elsewhere.

_ Him _ .

Although she kept her distance, she wanted him to use his arms and hold her like in those Harlequin novels.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” 

“Doing what?”

“Denying yourself happiness,” he said.

“I’m not,” she mumbled. “There are consequences I’m not ready for.”

_Like_ _ pregnancy. _

“I have condoms.”

_ Condoms don’t work 100% _ , she thought.  _ They work 97%, which means out of a hundred sexual intercourses, there could be three babies conceived _ . Would she be one of these three potential mothers who got knocked up even though a condom is used?  _ Still, 97 vs 3… _

“You are afraid,” he commented. “You are afraid to love, afraid to lose, afraid of the dramas in your head. You are driving yourself insane.”

She turned and moved towards him. “Just hold me.”

And she was in his arms, burying her face in his chest.  His body was warm and his skin was soft. His arms were strong, and she could feel him hardened against her. 

“Does it hurt?” She asked, touching his nipple ring.

“Didn’t bother me.”

She could feel his hands went underneath her towel, tracking her spine and pinched her butts.

Though it hurt, she liked it.

“You can do whatever you want,” she said. “Just don’t let me fall pregnant.”

He rolled on top of her and pressed his lips against hers. Nicole moaned as he kissed her neck. He stripped off her towel; and her panties followed. She tensed when he placed his hand in between her thighs. 

“Shh, baby, it’s only me,” he whispered.

She gave him a nod. Placing her hand on his back, she traced his muscles as he parted her legs. Whatever he was doing to her, waves of pleasures made her curve her back. Slowly, she began to melt. She saw him fish out a condom from his nightstand.

“You want to put it on me?” He asked, handing it to her.

She ripped the wrap open and with his guidance, she rolled it on him. His cock was...not small. How would he fit into her?

And would it hurt?

All the questions disappeared when she felt his breath against her skin and his hand massaging her inner thighs and feminine parts.

“Say my fucking name,” he said like an order.

“Nikki.”

“Say it again.”

“Nikki.”

“Open up,” he said, kissing her face. 

“What?”

Something was happening to her. Something was opening up inside.

She gasped as he thrust into her. To her surprise, it didn’t hurt as much.

“Breathe,” he said, kissing her lips and continuing the thrust until he released. He remained inside her, panting and resting his face against her collarbone. 

“Are you alright?” She asked, caressing his shoulders.

Catching his breath, he pulled out of her. Nicole watched him throwing the condom into the garbage can nearby. 

“What’s on your mind, baby?” He asked, seeing her eyes wide open. 

“Remember when we were in the tub and you asked me if I ever heard of the word  _ cum _ ? I think now I know what you were talking about.”

He laughed and gave her kiss. Wrapping his arms and legs around her, he held her tightly against him.

“Nikki, Angelique is my middle name,” she muttered against his tattooed chest, wishing to stay like this forever. “My name is Nicole.”


	5. Tomorrow (AU)

Nikki had told her that sex is good for the mind; that it can help her relax, reduce headache, and improve sleep. He was 100% correct.

Or at least, that was what Nicole believed when she stepped into the shower.

Her mind was much clearer now. She knew there are things to be taken care of, like getting her car and purse back and looking for a new job. She should have a chat with Mark too. Their engagement was pointless since neither really cared to be with each other. Mark was happier with that Persian girl, whatever her name is. And she was with Nikki. 

Boy, thinking of him made her feel...wet.

Already she missed his muscular tattooed arms.

She liked it when he pinched her butt.

In fact, she wanted to do something naughty so that he could spank her.

She turned the water off and Nikki was there with a towel.

“Where are my clothes?” She asked as he dried her.

He gave her a smirk. “I’ll tell you if you…”

She threw the towel aside, leaving her entire body exposed. She was no longer a shy virgin. 

“Clever girl.” He led her to another room where her dress, bra, and jacket were hanging. They were still damp.

“I need a dryer.”

He took her down to the basement where he got a washer and dryer. Nicole, of course, remained naked. She turned on the dryer for thirty minutes. She began to feel chilly, but his hands on her breasts, belly, and butts brought her warmth. He pressed her hand against his cock. 

“You naughty girl,” he whispered against her ear. “You are fucking killing me.”

She pulled her hand away and reached into his pocket.

“It’s right here.” Nikki took out a condom from his back pocket. Nicole ripped it open. She undressed him and rolled the protection on him like a pro. With her legs around him, she leaned against the dryer as he penetrated into her. 

“Let it out,” he panted against her skin. “I want to fucking hear you.”

“No,” she bit her lips.

He thrust harder. “Come on baby, let it out.”

“No.” She was tempting him to go deeper and more dangerous.

“Fine, you fucking asked for it.”

What happened next was a total blur. All she remembered was the risk, the fear, and the danger. In the end, however, she was safe and one piece in his arms though her body was sore and covered in sweats. 

“I need another shower.” She rested her forehead against his shoulder.

“How about a bath?”

* * *

“Did you regret last night?” He asked, kissing her shoulder as she played with the foams and bubbles.

“No, no regret at all.”

“Did you want me?”

“Yes,” she replied. “I never had that feeling towards anyone. I want to be in your arms forever.”

He kissed her on the lips. “Nicole, that’s your real name. Why did you say your name is Angelique?”

“Angelique is my middle name,” Nicole replied. “I just met you yesterday. With strangers, I always use my middle name. It’s my mother’s name too.” She paused and continued, “What happened yesterday...I lost my job. My car got stolen. I went home and walked into my ex banging a Persian girl. I walked out and didn’t know where I was going. When I got into your car, I was kinda hoping that you are some kind of serial killer so I don’t have to wake up tomorrow.”

“If you ever dare to try that again, I will smack you,” he said sternly. “One fucking bad day and you want to die? Life is beautiful.”

“That was only yesterday. Like you said, sex can help me find my answers when my head is clouded. I had sex and now I know what I need to do. Well, I lied. I don’t know what tomorrow is like anymore. I used to wake up in the morning and go to work.”

“Welcome to your new life. You found me. You wake up and take a shower. The we’ll have the best fuck.”

“What about my job? I can’t just fuck all the time.”

“Okay, what do you want to do then?”

“I don’t want to be an interpreter anymore,” she said. “Maybe I can be a model. I always wanted to do modeling had my dad not talk me out of it.”

“You won’t have much success.”

“Why?”

“Because you are afraid of taking risks,” he said bluntly. “Would you take off all your fucking clothes for the world to see?”

“No!”

“Then you’ll fail.”

“I can take risks, and it doesn’t have to be baring my body for the whole world to see,” she said. “I died once from being too risky.”

“You died once?”

“Yes, I will never forget that day,” she told him, tracing the tattoos on his arms. “Mark and I were dating. We were on a bridge. He was taking pictures and I decided to climb onto the guardrail. I practiced ballet back in school. So there I was, posing, standing on the guardrail with my one leg up. I lost balance and fell into the water. I can’t swim.”

“You drowned?” He was rather amused.

“I did,” she said. “Mark called 911 and I was saved and resuscitated. I died for about a minute. It was on my twentieth birthday. December 23, 1987.”

He stirred. 

“My birthday is in December too,” he said, though Nicole sensed he’s hiding something. “Don’t be a model. Stay with me. Tomorrow will be another day.”

“My stuff is still at my place,” she said. 

* * *

He drove her to her her apartment. She unlocked the door; Mark was not there, which was good. Only then she remembered it was Thursday, which meant Mark is at the law firm. Funny how everything got distorted; she actually thought it was Saturday because she’s not at work.

“The place is not too big,” she said as she went to her room. “This is my room and that’s Mark’s. We split the rent. I pay slightly more because my room is bigger.”

She had a four poster bed with white canopy curtains. In a corner, she had a Victorian dollhouse. On the other side of the room, she had a bookcase that was shaped like a castle. Nikki went to see what books she had. She got copies of Grimms’ Fairy Tales in German and works by Charles Perrault in French.

“How many languages do you speak?” He asked.

“Three,” Nicole replied as she took out a suitcase. “I studied German and French back in college. I lived in France for a year and spent some weeks in Germany.”

She also had biographies of Empress Elisabeth of Austria, Empress Josephine of France, Queen Marie Antoinette, Diana Princess of Wales and Sarah Ferguson Duchess of York. Right next to her Grimms’ Fairy Tale book was a pair of slippers with glass heels.

“I bought that when I was in Germany,” Nicole explained. “It’s the replica of the glass slippers Cinderella wore in fairy tales.”

“Aren’t you a little too old for fairy tales?”

“Depends on what versions you are looking at,” she said. “Fairy tales are gothic tales. They can be bloody and scary. Don’t believe in Disney’s version.”

“Walt Disney is a fucking perv himself.”

“That’s what I heard,” Nicole said. 

Nikki chuckled. Amazingly they were having the same conversation they had seven years ago on the plane. Nicole still looked the same, only her hair was shorter. She wasn’t just a girl who lost her virginity to him. Before her, he had banged virgins, or maybe he did. He wasn’t sober half of the time and could hardly remember.

Vince had warned him about virgins. “Once you popped their cherry, they are yours  _ forever _ . All these virgins whose cherries I popped, I still can’t stop talking to them.”

His first girl Suzie wasn’t a virgin and neither was his ex-wife. 

Him and his ex-wife, they fought a lot. He did whatever he could to make the marriage work, at least for their son Dekker. His song,  _ Angela _ , was supposed to be about his ex-wife, or so he thought. 

_ Now when the winds cry Angela; Angela I'll be there for you _

No, it wasn’t his ex-wife.

But her - Nicole  **_Angelique_ **

It had always been her.

She remembered the kiss they shared, only she didn’t recognize him as that “Frankie” she met. It wasn’t too surprising since he had gained some weight after becoming sober and wore a different hairstyle. 

They went their separate ways and miraculously she found her way back to him. 

In her, Nikki had found his soulmate. All humans were once united with their other half, but gods split them apart from fear and jealousy. Soulmates is the other half, or half of himself. He didn’t want her to be out of his sight, not even a moment. 

On her nightstand, he saw a framed picture of Nicole and an older man. He went closer and instantly he recognized that man as Tom Ireland, his late attorney.

Tom had represented him when Vince sued the band for profits. He and Tom formed an odd friendship despite their different personalities and background. “Your suit is bogus Mr. Neil,” Tom had warned the blond frontman. “I kindly suggest you drop this suit before it gets ugly. And it is going to get ugly.”

“That’s my dad,” she said. “He passed away not too long ago.”

Nikki nodded. “Sorry for your loss.”

All emotions suddenly came to her. Sniffling, she tried to hold back her tears. “My dad, he was there for me, always. We didn’t agree on everything but he did want the best for me. You know....I keep all these stuff, which you think is childish. But these are the things I truly like. It has always been his way and what he thinks is the best. But what do I want? This is why I was so lost. Bad things happened to me and I had no clue on what to do.”

He went to her and wiped her tears. She cried in his arms. Nikki remembered when he went to pay respect after Tom passed away, it was his sister-in-law Antoinette who received him. 

“It’s so hard on Nicole,” he heard Antoinette say. “She hadn’t cried yet.”

She continued to sob until she heard the door open. Quickly, she separated herself from Nikki.

“Oh no,” she said, finding her voice. “Mark is home.”

“Hey Nicole,” Mark walked into her room. He stopped upon seeing Nikki. Shaking from head to toe, he cried out, “OH MY GOD!!!”

He raced out of the room and raced back with a camera. 

“Please, can I?”

“Sure,” Nikki said.

Mark handed his camera to Nicole and stood next to Nikki. 

“Pictures!” He yelled. He made a peace sign and Nikki made a love sign.

Nicole took pictures for them.

Mark wanted one picture after another. Together with Nikki, they made faces and flipped their birds.

“Oh if you won’t mind,” Mark ran out of the room again and came back with a poster. It was the same poster Nicole had torn yesterday but he taped it back together. “Can you…”

He could barely find his words.

Nikki signed the poster. “I remember this from 1984  _ Shout at the Devil _ . It’s one of our best. What happened to it?”

“Nicole ripped it,” Mark pointed at Nicole.

“Then why did you give it to her?”

* * *

Mark insisted that Nikki stay for dinner. Looking at Nikki, Nicole found it hard to believe that he’s the same man from that poster. She had seen that poster from time to time. Nikki, or Nikki Sixx bass player of Motley Crue, was very thin and rather feminine in that poster. At first glance she thought they were four girls. This Nikki before her eyes was hands down masculine. 

Mark couldn’t stop talking.

“I have been a Motley Crue fan since I heard the song  _ Shout at the Devil _ . I was a poor kid bullied by others. Your music helped me find confidence in myself. You know I’m from Seattle, Washington?”

“Get the fuck out of the town,” Nikki laughed.

“That place is all fucked up!” The two said in unison and high-fived each other.

“You know all the titles of our songs?” Nikki asked. “Here’s a test. Looks that-”

“Kill,” Mark answered without hesitation. 

“Stick to your-”

“Gun.”

“Red-”

“Hot.”

“What about  _ Kickstart of My Broken Heart _ ?” Nicole asked.

“You mean  _ Kickstart the Heart _ ?” Mark laughed.

“Actually it’s  _ Kickstart  _ **_My_ ** _ Heart _ ,” Nikki corrected them. 

“That’s the best song Nikki ever wrote. It was written after he came back from death. It was the same day as-

“My birthday,” Nicole rolled her eyes. “I too once died and came back. You never cared to remember.”

“You didn’t die. You just choked on water and passed out.”

“I died for a minute!”

“You did not,” Mark insisted. “You could’ve died had I not called 911.”

“Which I’m forever grateful,” Nikki said, adding food to Nicole’s plate.

“Wait a minute,” Mark stopped eating and realized what’s happening. “You and  _ you _ ?” He got up from his chair and eyed Nicole to go talk with him.

Lowering his voice, he said, “Nicole, you are making a big mistake. Don’t tell me that you are with him romantically. This is Nikki fucking Sixx!”

“Nikki Five or Nikki Six, I’m happy with him.”

As Mark and Nicole argued, Nikki’s cell phone rang. “Yes?”

“You and him are like a lion and a rabbit,” Mark said to Nicole. “And you are not the lion!”

“Look Mark, our relationship is not working. That one night with him is the happiest night in my life!”

“Nicole-”

Nikki came to them. He kissed Nicole and said, “I gotta go. I’ll come back and get you.”

And he rushed out the door.


	6. Dead Man’s Ballet (AU)

Nikki said that he’ll be back to get her. 

He had been gone for a week. 

Sat by the window, Nicole read through an old notebook. It was a novel she started back in college. That year, she had learned about her family heritage from her Aunt Toni. Through her mother, she was a descendant of Princess Anne Marie of Conti, a daughter of King Louis XIV of France. Their family held the princely title for centuries until the French Revolution. There is a castle in France that is still in the family’s name, her Aunt Toni had told her. This inspired her to grab a pen and start writing a novel titled  _ Suddenly Royal _ . It was about an ordinary American girl who found out that she's the sole heiress of an European kingdom. However, she abandoned the project after she went to France. At the Palace of Versailles, she discovered that her ancestress was actually a bastard child of the French King, which meant that she was a descendant of an _illegitimate_ line and thus not equal to other royal descendants. As for the castle, it was nothing but rumbles. The revolutionaries had destroyed it, the tour guide told her. 

Her princess dream was destroyed too. She was not Princess Nicole of Conti with a castle in her name. She was only Nicole Ireland, an American citizen. 

But she did have a talent in writing, or at least it seemed. 

From time to time, she peeked out from the window. 

No sign of Nikki.

“Hey,” Mark approached her. “I...I just want to say I’m sorry about how everything turned out.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes I am,” he said and sat. “I know this isn’t working out. When I saw you with Nikki Sixx, I thought it was a dream.”

“And your behavior was beyond embarrassing,” Nicole reminded him.

“Well, I am a Motley Crue fan,” Mark admitted. “I’m sorry that you walked in on me and Aafreen. I’m sorry that you were hurt. But I want you to know that even though we are not a couple anymore, you are still family to me, like my sister.”

“Really?” Nicole was surprised.

“Yeah really,” Mark said genuinely. “Your father was my mentor. He’s like my father too.”

“I’m sorry that I ripped your poster,” Nicole said apologetically.

“And I’m sorry that I made the lion and the rabbit analogy.”

“Maybe it’s true,” Nicole said, looking out from the window again. “He’s not coming back, is he?”

“He will,” Mark assured her. “I’m not saying this to be nice. He does care for you.”

“But where could he be?”

“At the studio probably,” Mark said. “Maybe Vince did something again.”

“Who’s Vince?”

Mark let out a sigh and went to his room. He talked about the Motley Crue all the time, but Nicole never paid attention. He came back with a Motley Crue CD  _ Shout at the Devil _ . Pointing at the CD cover, he said, “This is Nikki, your man. He is the founder and bassist of the group. He wrote all the songs of the band. He is the brain.” Counterclockwise, he pointed at the next member. “This is Mick Mars, the guitarist. Quiet and humble, he is the secret weapon of the group.” He went on to the next member, “This is Tommy Lee, the drummer and Nikki’s twin-”

“Nikki has a twin?” 

Indeed, Nikki and Tommy sure looked alike with their hair and makeup.

“Not really, they were together a lot and they were called the terror twins,” Mark explained. “And the blond one here is Vince, their front man singer. He is the troublemaker of the group. He ditched the band once and told everyone that he was fired.”

“So Vince left the group again?”

“Could be,” Mark said. “Here’s lesson #1 on dating a rock star - bros come first. There will be days and nights you spend alone because he’s either 1) at the studio working or 2) away touring or 3) with his bro bandmates where no wives allowed.”

Burying her face in her palms, Nicole shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s his son. If he wants his mom and dad together, how could Nikki say no to that? He loves his son.”

She got up and went to the kitchen. “The trash can is full,” she muttered and went to take out the trash.

After the door closed behind her, Mark shook his head. He wasn’t Nicole’s type; and neither was Nicole his. He saw it clearly that despite being a grown working woman, Nicole was a daddy’s girl. She wanted to be in the arms of a guy who’s there for her, protecting her, loving and guiding her. 

And Nikki SIxx, the  _ dad  _ of the Motley Crue, stepped into this role perfectly.

* * *

She threw the trash into the bin, and unexpectedly, she saw Nikki standing by his car. 

“Hey,” he greeted with uneasiness.

Letting out a sigh, she jumped into his arms. “Where did you go?” She wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders. “I thought you abandoned me-”

"No, baby, never!” He took a deep breath.

“Are you alright?” She asked, sensing something's wrong.

“I’m okay,” he said. “Let’s go get your stuff.”

He and Nicole went back into her apartment. She skipped to her room to collect her things. 

“Hey Mark,” Nikki approached her ex-fiance, now roommate and surrogate brother. “If you don’t mind…”

With a suitcase in hand and in a trench coat, Nicole was ready to go. Yet, Nikki was chatting with Mark, and it looked like a serious discussion. 

“Shall we get going?” She asked.

“In a minute baby,” Nikki said and resumed his conversation with Mark. Whatever they were chatting about, it went from minutes into hours. Tired of waiting, Nicole went back to her room and flipped open Grimms’ Fairy Tale. Finally, after reading ten stories in a row, Nikki came to her.

“Sorry baby,” he said. 

Nicole rolled her eyes but noticed his bandaged hands. “Hey, what happened?”

“Don’t worry about it.” 

* * *

“Nikki, what’s going on?” Nicole asked as he drove. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

“No Nikki, I care what happens to you. What happened to your hands?”

“It’s not your fucking business!” He exploded.

A moment ago, he was calm. Now his green eyes looked like he was about to kill. He stepped on the gas pedal and raced down the street. 

“Nikki!” Nicole became afraid. “Stop, you are scaring me!”

He only increased the speed. 

“Nikki, please stop!” Nicole begged. 

He ignored her and continued to drive on top speed.

“STOP THE FUCKING CAR!” She screamed. 

Finally, he hit the break. Catching her breath, Nicole opened the car door and stepped out of his Ferrari. “What were fuck were you doing?” She demanded, trying to calm her heart. “You could’ve gotten us killed!” Looking away, she shook her head, “I can’t believe I swore. I said the F-word twice today.”

She could hear Nikki laughing.

“It’s not funny Nikki!” She said, looking at him. “If you try to impress me with your bad boy stunt, it’s not working. Why can't you tell me what's bothering you? You don't hide it well!”

“I got a call from the studio,” he said slowly. “My fucking ex-wife left my son there, telling him that I’d be there to pick him up. My manager found him crying at the building's doorstep.”

Nicole gasped in disbelief. 

“My ex left my son at the studio just like my mother left me on my grandparents’ porch,” he continued. “I was fucking pissed. Dekker was so afraid that I will fucking leave him too. I didn’t know what to do, so I called Tommy. His son Brandon is in the same class with Dekker. He and Pamela came over and brought their boys. Dekker is okay now, having a sleepover with Brandon at Tommy’s house. When I was alone, anger took me over. I really wanted to fucking kill my ex, but I punched the wall instead.”

That explained the wounds on his hands. 

“You don’t have a plan, do you?” She asked carefully.

“I have a gun,” he replied. “She’s in fucking Aruba.”

Nicole was relieved. “I know you are mad, and you have every right to be mad. I can’t change what has happened, but you don’t want to go to jail, do you? What would happen to Dekker then? If anything happens to your ex, you could’ve been the top suspect-”

“Don’t tell me what to do, all right?” Though he was adamant, he did calm down.

She went to him, closer and closer. He drew her into his arms and buried his face in her hair. Nicole knew he was crying. 

He was not a bad boy or a monster. He was a man hurt by abandonment and betrayal. 

Rockstar or not, he was a human being.

* * *

They pulled up to his beach house, with Nicole driving. 

“My mother died when I was born,” Nicole told him as she parked. “She was alone, and she called my father with her last strength. My father couldn’t handle it, so I lived with my aunt and my grandparents. When I saw my father, he was happy to see me. I’d never forget the hug he gave me. He tried to protect me, but he tried too hard. I never had a real boyfriend. Mark was more like family. The thing is...I was kind of scared of sex and marriage. What if I’d die from childbirth?”

“It will not happen,” he said. “Not on my watch.”

Nicole looked at the moon and found it bright, round, and big.

“The moon is beautiful tonight,” she said.

He opened the car’s roof and reclined his seat. She climbed over and settled in his arms. 

“I’m getting full custody,” Nikki said as Nicole counted the stars. “I’m selling the house in Van Nuys. I hate that fucking place. You want a new palace?”

“No,” Nicole said. “I saw palaces when I was in Europe, and I like castles better.”

“What’s the difference? Castle and palace,” he asked, twisting the ring on her left hand.

“Palaces are more modernized and bigger,” she said. “Hey, I have to tell you, I have royal blood in my veins.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Princess Nicole Angelique of Conti.”

“Fancy,” he remarked. “How about a name much grander? Nicole Angelique Sixx?”


	7. Courtesy Call (AU)

The phone rang.

“Hello?” Within a second, Nikki slammed it down.

“Who is it?” Nicole asked, even though she already guessed the answer.

The phone rang again and Nikki pulled the plug.

An hour later, there was a knock on the door. Nicole was very afraid that it’s his ex. Thankfully, it was only Mark.

But how did he know Nikki’s address?

“Mark, what are you doing here?” Nicole asked.

“I have a surprise for you,” Mark said with a big smile. “Your dream is about to come true.”

“What are you talking about?”

Behind Mark, a middle-aged man dressed in a suit entered the house. Nicole nearly had a heart attack.

“Hi Tom,” Nikki gave the man a high-five. “It’s great to see you back to life, that makes two of us!”

“Dad, what’s going on?” Nicole demanded in disbelief. “You are supposed to be dead!”

“I’m supposed to be dead?” Tom was hurt. “Honey, do you want me to stay dead?”

“You have some explaining to do. You can’t just appear before me like nothing happened! What’s going on? I was there when they buried you!”

“You are the one who owes me an explanation,” Tom said with his finger pointing. “Mark told me about you and this Nikki Sixx. Please tell me it isn’t true.”

“It is.” Nikki went to Nicole, slipping his arm around her waist. “We are together and we are getting hitched.” He made a love sign.

“Did you have sex?”

“Dad!” Nicole’s face was completely red.

“We did,” Nikki nodded. "It was good."

“Did you use protection?”

“Yep,” NIkki pulled one from his pocket and showed it to him. “Nicole was naughty last night. She blew it up like a balloon and pop goes the weasel. But don’t worry, I always have an extra as a back up.”

“That’s good to hear,” Tom remarked. “At least you are more responsible than you used to be.”

“I was bad,” Nikki admitted. “But I’m good now, and clean too.”

“I like to have a moment with my daughter,” Tom eyed Mark and Nikki.

The two guys walked out. Nicole turned away from her father. 

“Honey,” her father began.

“What the hell, Dad?” Nicole asked bitterly. She was not just upset; she was mad. “That day when Aunt Toni told me that you died from a heart attack, my world came to an end. Everyday was like a limbo. Now, you are telling me that it was all but a lie?”

“I had to fake my death, honey,” Tom said apologetically. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“But why?” Nicole demanded. “Did you get into some sort of trouble? Are you in the witness protection program?”

“Not really,” Tom said. “I started a new life.”

“A new life?”

“Honey, there’s something you must know.” Tom took her hands. “We are not Irish. We are Czech. Our people have elected me as their King.”

“What?” Nicole couldn’t believe her ears.

“I am now the King Jan I of the Czechs,” Tom went on. “I'm here to take you with me. You are my daughter and thus the Crown Princess of the Czechs.”

“Are you out of your mind? Czechs will never accept a woman on a throne!”

“They will accept her husband,” Tom said. “I have already picked the perfect candidate, His Royal Highness Prince Edward of England. Her Majesty the Queen of England is very pleased with this arrangement, especially after the embarrassing scandals and affairs of her son Charles.”

“Dad, I am with Nikki!”

“That Nicholas does not qualify,” Tom said. “He is a divorced man and I seriously doubt the legitimacy of his birth. Czechs will never accept him as their king.”

“He has my heart,” Nicole insisted. “And he loves me, for me.”

“How could you choose a man like him?” Tom asked in disappointment. “Don’t get me wrong, I do have respect for him as a musician. But he’s not even a rock star anymore! That was in the 80s.”

“Rock star or not, I love Nikki Sixx the man. I didn’t even know he’s a rock star when I met him.”

“You don’t need a man like him in your life. You know he was a drug addict?”

“That’s all in the past,” Nicole said. “You don’t like him because I love him. Everything I do - how I live my life, who I’m with - it has to be your way. When I agreed to marry Mark, I only did it to make you happy. But I wasn’t happy. With Nikki, I am.”

Tom let out a sigh. “I am the past and he is your future. I have to go now. Either you come with me or stay here with Nicholas. Looks like you made your choice. Live a happy life with Nicholas.”

“Wait, dad,” Nicole went to stop him. “You don't have to do this. Let the Czechs elect someone else to be their King.”

“You don’t need me,” Tom said. “You have Nicholas now. As hard as it is for me to admit, he is a good guy. You are special to him. You know why? Because you love him for who he is.”

Nicole hugged her dad tightly. “Please dad, don’t go. Stay with me, just a little longer.”

* * *

“Don’t go,” Nicole muttered in her sleep as she wrapped her arms tightly around Nikki. “Don’t go.”

“Baby,” Nikki tried to wake her, brushing his lips against her forehead.

Her eyes remained closed until the phone rang. Nikki reached over to answer.

“Hello? Oh hi buddy...you want to stay for another night at Brandon’s? No, you can’t do that. Okay, fine. I’m picking you up at his house after school, alright? I love you, buddy. Stay out of trouble.”

He hung up and saw Nicole rubbing her eyes.

“Baby, what is it?” He asked. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“No,” Nicole replied; and that wasn’t exactly a lie. 

The phone rang again; this time it was Tommy. Nicole got out of the bed as Nikki chatted with his drummer.

“Tommy invited us to his house for dinner," Nikki told her after his call with Tommy. "You’ll meet my son.”

“Will he be okay with me?”

Stepmothers are the typical villains to little kids. 

“Of course,” Nikki said like a promise. “And you’ll get to meet Pam.”

* * *

Pam was Pamela Anderson, one of the leading ladies of _Baywatch_. Nicole had seen a few episodes of that show but didn’t care too much about it. She found the show lame and thought Pam was a blonde bimbo with big boobs. However, after meeting her in person, she found Pam is actually one of the kindest and smartest people she ever met.

And her boobs were much bigger in person too, partially because she was very pregnant.

The two boys, Brandon and Dekker, were busy playing video games. 

“It’s very nice to meet you Nicole,” Tommy said. “I met your dad. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks,” Nicole said. “I heard that you and Nikki were terror twins.”

Nikki laughed. “We were bad, but it was a fucking good time. Don't want to disappoint you baby, but I don’t apologize for any broken heart or the damage we did. We were the bad boys back in the day.”

“You, Tommy, Vince and…”

“Mick,” Nikki said, holding her hand. “When we started the band, we only had fucking twenty bucks a week. Remember how we spent Thanksgiving? T-bone was only seventeen when we met. Him and I, we met up in a diner and Motley Crue was born.”

“I knew Vince from high school,” Tommy added. “And we found Mick from an ad. Loud, rude, and aggressive guitar player. He’s the one who came up with our band’s name. Nikki wanted to name the band _Christmas_.”

“With an X,” Nikki explained. “And T-bone wanted to call the fucking band _Fourskins_.”

Nicole laughed so hard that she choked on her water.

“So what do you do Nicole?” Pam asked her.

“I used to be an interpreter, but it didn’t work out,” Nicole said. “Don’t know what I want to do now.”

“You can try acting,” Pam suggested. “Our show is looking for new cast members.”

“Thanks but no thanks. I really don’t see myself in a red swimsuit,” Nicole said. “My aunt is an executive producer of _General Hospital_. I had a couple of guest roles but I didn’t like it much. I like writing.”

“That’s good,” Pam said. “I like writing too.”

“You guys have an army of cars out there. Are you doing car business too?”

“No, it’s my fucking collection,” Tommy laughed. “I love cars.”

Speaking of cars, Nicole remembered her Mercedes that got stolen. 

“My first car was a Porsche and my current one is a Mercedes,” she said. “The Porsche got totaled and the Mercedes got stolen.”

“Oh no,” Pam expressed her sympathy. “Did you file the police report?”

“I did,” Nicole said. “I hope it’ll be a happy ending. My Porsche was a sad loss. My dad and I bought it together after I got my driver’s license. We were in Detroit and I only had that Porsche for one day. Some idiots pushed a TV out of the window from stories above. Thank goodness I wasn’t in the car.”

Tommy stopped smiling.

“I’m thankful too,” Nikki said. “I’ll buy you a new one for your birthday.”

“No, I just want my Mercedes back.”

“Hey, if you don’t mind, you can have one from my mine,” Tommy offered.

“That’s too kind of you, but I can’t accept.”

It was then Pam and Tommy noticed the ring on her left hand. Both were delighted.

Nicole was about to say that the ring was her mother’s but decided not to. 

* * *

It was a pleasant evening. After dinner, they went back to Nikki’s beach house - Nikki, Nicole and Dekker. On their way, all three were silent. At the house, however, Nicole overheard Dekker talking to Nikki.

“I don’t want a new mom.”

That was the phrase she had anticipated and feared the most.

But what Dekker said next brought her sadness yet hope.

“You and her will fight like you and mom did.”

She closed the door and tried to read until Nikki came in. By her facial expression, he knew what’s on her mind.

“My ex and I fought all the time,” he explained. “We were about to split for good but Dekker came along.”

“Were you seeing anyone else before your ex?”

“I dated Lita,” Nikki told her. “She’s a singer. She was good to me. She had this friend and I got jealous...and everything ended there.”

“I have to tell you, before Mark and Frankie,” she hesitated to continue, but Nikki wanted to hear more. “That night in Detroit after my dad and I bought my Porsche, for the first time in my life, I saw a man naked. We stayed in a hotel for the night and I heard someone laughing like a madman in the hallway. I looked through the peephole, and I saw a naked man running up and down the hall. I liked his butts, and his legs too.”

“When was it?”

“1984.” She remembered clearly because she kept a scrapbook. 

He wrapped his arms around her. “Let’s not dwell on the past, baby. We have a long future ahead of us. We’ll get a new house where we’ll grow old together. Do you have a wedding designation in mind?”

"Not yet, I have to think about it."

"Anywhere is fine. Just not Hawaii."


	8. Accidents can happen (AU)

She was now living with Nikki and his son Dekker. Dekker was not exactly friendly towards her at first. He made faces at her whenever his dad wasn’t looking. However, as time went by, the little boy began to warm up to her. The three went to amusement parks together; and they had fun. Settled with this new family of hers, Nicole called her Aunt Toni.

“Mark and I are no longer engaged,” she told her aunt. “I’ve met someone, and I’m living with him.”

“What?” Aunt Toni was in disbelief. “NiNi, I’m not surprised about you and Mark, but this man you’re with, how long have you known him?”

That was a good question. She had known Nikki only a few weeks.

“Not very long, but he loves me.”

“What is his name?”

“Don’t overreact,” Nicole said. “You are not going to believe it, but it’s true.”

“David Hasselhoff?” 

“No! It’s Nikki Sixx. Dad had represented him and his band-”

“You mean Nikki Sixx, bassist of Motley Crue?”

“Of course, how many other Nikki Sixxs are out there?” Nicole laughed.

“NiNi, I want you to meet with me for lunch.”

“You want to meet Nikki?”

“No, I have an old friend I like you to meet." 

“You have to come pick me up then,” Nicole said. “I don’t have my car anymore. It got stolen. I called the police and there’s no lead.”

She gave her aunt the address to Nikki’s beach house. Dekker was at school and Nikki was at the studio. It was good to have somewhere to go.

* * *

After some soup and salad, Nicole told her aunt everything - her lost job; her stolen car; Mark’s affair; and Nikki. To her, Nikki was just a man who loves her. 

And that he’s a single dad. 

“NiNi, do you know what you are doing?” Aunt Toni asked. “You barely know the man. And you are to become a stepmother to a little boy? You need to find a job before you become a bird in a gilded cage of that Nikki Sixx.”

“You mean like a princess trapped in his castle?”

Letting out a sigh, Aunt Toni said, “NiNi, find a job. That’s the most important thing right now.”

“I have thought about it,” Nicole said. “You know, I like writing, creative writing. You still have the poems I wrote you years ago, right? If you can help me, I like to shadow you at your job. I don’t mind if I don’t get paid, but it’d be a good start.”

Nodding, Aunt Toni replied, “I’ll talk to my team, but I don’t think it’d be a problem.” She looked around and spotted someone. She waved at him. “Doug, we’re over here!”

A middle-aged man with long hair joined them. 

“Doug, this is my niece Nicole,” Aunt Toni introduced. “Nicole, this is Doug. He is an old friend of mine.”

“Nice to meet you Nicole,” Doug shook her hand. “I heard about your father. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you,” Nicole said. Doug ordered a beer and saw the ring on her left hand. “When’s the big day?”

“Well,” Nicole blushed. “I don’t know yet.”

“You know Doug used to be the manager of a rock band,” Aunt Toni told her.

“Motley Crue,” he said with pride. “But not anymore.”

“If you don't mind me asking, what kind of people are they?”

She had heard an earful from Mark on how cool they were. At Tommy’s place, Nikki admitted that they were bad. She was curious to see what Doug had to say. 

“ _Sick_ ,” Doug replied without any hesitation. “Nikki likes to push his limits. He likes the danger and he can't help himself. He brought his problems around the world, wherever he goes. He got into fights with the cops and went to jail. Twice he died from heroin overdose.”

“Twice?” Nicole’s eyes widened.

“Yes, first time in Germany. His dealer dumped his body in the dumpster after trying to wake him up with a baseball bat. Somehow, he came to consciousness and climbed out of the dumpster like nothing happened. He was _insane_.”

“What did his band mates say?”

“Birds of a feather,” Doug replied. “Tommy does exactly what Nikki does. The two were always together. Once, in Detroit, Nikki said ‘let’s push this TV out of the window.’ And Tommy did exactly just that. Vince is the worst and the least responsible…”

As Doug went on, Nicole sank into her own thoughts. Her blue Porsche that got totaled in Detroit...she could’ve been in that car when that TV fell on it. No wonder Tommy was so generous!

“What changed then?” She asked Doug, hoping they all changed now.

“My intervention,” Doug said. “I canceled their tour and told Nikki word to word, ‘Get clean or get out of here.’ Sooner or later one of them would end up in a fucking body bag. And they did, got cleaned and released their best album.”

“That’s good then,” Nicole nodded. “Any you don't work for them anymore?”

“No,” Doug said. “Time has changed. Rock is no longer the thing. Nikki worked very hard and changed the band’s tune. Vince wasn’t happy. His drinking problems weren’t helping either. He left the band. The audience didn’t like their new tune. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just...not Motley Crue. Their last album failed in the market. Next thing I know, I was done.”

“I’m sorry,” Nicole said.

Doug only shrugged. 

* * *

Under the bright sun, Nicole sauntered on the beach, listening to the waves. 

“There you are,” Nikki came behind her. “What are you doing out here?”

“I like to walk on the beach,” Nicole said. “I like the smell of the sea and the sound of the waves.”

“Liar.”

“Nikki, I want you to tell me something. That year, 1984, were you and your band in Detroit?” 

“Yeah, we did perform there. Why?”

“Did you and Tommy push a television out of the window?”

Nikki was silent. 

“You knew that car was mine, didn’t you?” Nicole demanded; she was mad. “After I told you that I was in Detroit in 1984 and a television fell on my car from stories above. I could’ve been in that car when it happened. You could’ve killed me, like how you killed yourself with heroin.”

Quietly she walked back to the beach house.

* * *

At the dinner table, Nikki and Nicole ate in silence. It was Dekker who couldn’t stop talking, telling them what had happened at school. 

After dinner, Dekker watched TV and Nicole went to Nikki’s room. Maybe it was time for her to get her stuff together. Aunt Toni was right. She didn’t know Nikki long enough to be with him. She had seen his dangerous side before but made excuses for him because she was blinded by love. 

Nikki entered the room with a photo album. He put it on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t go.”

He was pleading.

“Nikki-”

“If you want to go, at least let me show you something,” he said. He had her sat on the bed with him and opened the album.

There was a photo of him taken back when he was in elementary school. He wasn’t an ugly kid but an awkward looking one for sure. “This is my Nona,” Nikki pointed to a picture of him as a young man with his arm around his grandmother. “She was the most important person to me. I lived with her in Idaho. She gave me a home I never had.”

He had long hair in that picture, and he was very thin.

He handed the album to Nicole. She flipped the pages and saw a picture of Nikki in another band. He had big hair and his eyes were hidden.

“London,” Nikki explained. “It didn’t work out. Not my music. I joined them because I was hungry for hire.”

There were many photos of Nikki and his Motley Crue band mates. 

“That you?” Nicole asked, pointing to a shirtless man with long hair in a group picture. 

“No, that’s Tommy,” Nikki said. “That’s me.”

The one with black marks under the eyes.

“My mother left me at my grandparents’ porch. She never wanted me,” Nikki went on. “My Nona always believed in me. She said that I have this special gift. I didn’t finish high school. I took a bus and headed to LA to chase my rock star dream. Tommy, Vince, and Mick - they are like the family I never had.” 

He pointed to a picture of him with a black Porsche. 

“I was partying in a mansion on the Hollywood Hills,” he said. “I was snorting coke on a piano. I wanted to go home but couldn’t find my clothes, so I took off naked. I lost it. The car was all fucked up and I was in the hospital. I dislocated my fucking shoulder. The schedule was tight for our next record. I was looking for a quick fix.”

“Heroin?”

He nodded and got up. “It worked. I finished my bass part for _Shout at the Devil_.”

Mark was so obsessed with that song that he played it endlessly.

“What happened next?”

“I was hooked,” Nikki said. “It took over my life. I was a total junkie. I could barely remember things that I did the day before. All I could think about was heroin. I was so fucked up that I didn't even pay respect when Nona died. At times I ask myself how I got there? Is it because of my childhood? Or is it because I was a rock star?”

In the photos, Nikki was making faces or smiling from ear to ear. Yet, behind these smiling faces, he was sick and in pain.

“I died twice because of heroin, baby, but I came back alive. My dealers ditched me. My manager put his foot down and I went to rehab. I quit cold turkey. It took me a year to recover. But I recovered, and I can still fucking rock. Our band toured for almost two years with our next album. But what I was really searching for all along was love. My ex and I fought all the time and I slipped. Accidents can happen, but I sobered up.”

“Accidents do happen, don’t they?” Nicole said slowly. “I lost my job, because I accidentally used the wrong words. My car got stolen because I accidentally left my keys in my car. When you found me in your car, you could’ve kicked me out. But you didn’t and you took care of me.”

Had it been someone else, she could’ve been raped or even killed.

A picture fell out from the album. It was a picture of a skinny little boy with a middle-aged man. 

“That’s me and my dad,” Nikki said. “He took off when I was little. After I went to LA to chase my rock star dream, I called him. I said, ‘Mr. Frank Feranna, this is your son.’ He only told me not to call back again and hung up. That was the last time I used his name.”

_Wait a minute…_

_Frank Feranna…_

_That Frankie she met on the plane..._

Suddenly it clicked.

“You are the best thing ever happened to me, baby,” Nikki said, taking her hands in his. “Life is full of accidents. You know what’s not an accident? Us. The day I found you in my car, that’s the happiest day of my life. I love you baby.”

He had tears in his eyes.

Seeing him thus, Nicole realized that she cared for him more than she thought. Plus, with everything that had happened, she would run into Nikki again somehow even if she were to leave him tonight. 

“Nikki, I...I have a wedding designation in mind.”

“Where?”

“The moon,” she said with a straight face.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Then, I’ll get us a rocketship. We’ll fly to the moon, pass the sun and say I do while hanging from a star.”

She laughed and buried her face into his chest.

“Nikki, _je t’aime_.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

“Say it again.” He held her dearly against him and kissed her on the head. 

“I love you.”

He reached into his pocket and took out a pear-shaped diamond ring. Nicole moved her mother’s ring onto her right hand, allowing him to slip his ring onto her left. He kissed her and said, “The bad Motley Crue chapter is closed, forever. You are my new beginning, baby. I will always love you until the day I die.”


	9. Life is Beautiful

**_December 1996 (AU)_ **

Having her car parked on the street, Nicole headed to a boutique. Her Mercedes was finally found. Luckily for her, it was not stolen by some deranged car thief or a dangerous criminal. It was actually taken by an amnesiac old man who mistook her car as his. Thus, all this time, her Mercedes quietly, and safely, sat on his driveway until his daughter noticed something amiss. With her car and purse back, Nicole couldn’t be more happier. 

She was buying a dress for her wedding. She and Nikki agreed not to have a big, fancy wedding. Instead, they were to have a small, simple ceremony. Dekker would be Nikki’s best man; and Mark would be the witness. Aunt Toni wasn’t thrilled, insisting that Nicole is making a big mistake. When Nicole invited her to meet Nikki, she refused. Nicole was disappointed. She felt Aunt Toni was being unfair and judgmental. While Doug looked like an honest person, all he talked about was the past. Besides, after being fired by Nikki, wouldn’t he naturally shed him in a bad light? 

She would still marry him even if Aunt Toni doesn’t approve because she loves him. She hadn’t picked a wedding designation yet - a _realistic_ wedding designation. Honestly, to her, it mattered a little. As long as it’s with Nikki, anywhere will do. 

For her wedding dress, she didn’t want a traditional one. She wanted something different. Perhaps a blue dress? She couldn’t stop looking at her engagement ring on the left hand. As for her mother’s ring, Nicole thought that it should be with her mother. In fact, wearing her mother’s ring haunted her a little. Would she suffer from the same fate as her mother? After seeing how Nikki was hurt by his mother and ex-wife, Nicole didn’t want him to be hurt ever again. 

She picked a satin blue dress and a pair of shoes designed like Cinderella’s glass shoes. With them in a bag, she went back to her Mercedes. Just as she was about to start the car, she heard a loud crash. 

And everything went black.

What she didn’t hear, or couldn’t hear, was the laughter from stories above. Some college kids were laughing endlessly. Nobody knew exactly what’s so funny for them to laugh like that. They looked down from the window, seeing a television landed on a Mercedes, and laughed even harder. 

* * *

**_December 1996_ **

With her two boys in the car, Nicole drove to Mark’s house.

Mark was her father’s mentee back when he was in law school. He was now married to a Persian woman named Aafreen. Both Mark and his wife were loyal Motley Crue fans. Had Nicole not pursued her modeling career (and met Nikki), she would’ve gotten together with Mark. After all, Tom had nothing but good to say about Mark. However, it would not last. Although Mark would be the last person who’d abuse drugs or alcohol, Nicole found his personality incredibly boring. 

Still, Mark was like a brother to her. On top of that, he was her pro-bono legal advisor.

Aafreen received her and the boys warmly. She gave Gunner a hug before taking Tucker in her arms.

“Oh look at you Tucker,” she said to the toddler. “You grew so big!” She then turned to Gunner. “Let’s go watch a movie together! I have _Lion’s King_.”

“I don’t like Lion’s King,” Gunner said. “I don’t like anything Disney. Dad says that Walt Disney is a total p-”

“Gunner!” Nicole stopped him before he could continue. “Be nice.”

Watching all this, Mark laughed. He knew why Nicole came to see him. He prepared coffee. The two went into Mark’s office with the door closed. 

“I messed up,” Nicole said to him. “I need your help.”

Mark nodded. 

“I filed for divorce and I want to withdraw it, but it is too late now! I didn’t know that in California it automatically defaulted after thirty days even without Nikki’s signature. Is it legally possible to get it reversed?”

“It’s all up to the judge,” Mark told her.

“Can you help me make a call? Can we just pretend it didn’t happen? I mean, it’s just like when you can annul a marriage... and I admit, my head wasn’t clear when I filed for divorce, which means that it isn’t legally binding-”

“Nicole,” Mark stopped her. “It’s not that simple. If we were to ask the judge to reverse it, first Nikki has to agree. If he were to agree, then he will have his lawyer to work with me and we talk to the judge. While you say that your head wasn’t clear now, what was on your mind when you filed for divorce? And don’t forget, you did it without a legal attorney by choice.”

“Nikki fell off the wagon,” Nicole explained. “Liquor bottles were everywhere. I caught Tucker playing with one. Nikki endangered the well-being of our kids-”

“Stop right there,” Mark said. “See, you knew exactly what you were doing when you left him. On top of that, you were willing to go through all these troubles - filling out papers, paying the fees - and knowing you - I’m sure you did your own research to make sure that you did everything right. If you knew Nikki went to rehab before the 30th day after your divorce filing but chose not to withdraw it, then it meant that you are on your mind to leave him even if he sobers up. Now, as a legal adviser, I need to tell you that your chance to have your divorce reversed is not good.”

“What should I do then?”

“Talk to Nikki,” Mark said. “Look, I’m going to tell you something as a friend. I don’t think it’s about your father’s death or Vince’s influence. Don’t get mad, but I think it’s about your near-death when you had Tucker.”

“What?”

“When Aafreen was pregnant with Sarah, I was very excited. But when she had Sarah in the delivery room, it was harder for me than I thought. It took Aafreen six hours to bring Sarah to the world, and it was the longest six hours I ever endured. Anything could’ve happened to her any moment. I had my camera in my hand, but I could barely press the button because my hands were shaking so badly.”

Nicole looked away. “See, Nikki never told me anything like that. Twice, out of the blue, I popped out two kids. He was there holding my hand. At our wedding, we vowed to stay together in sickness and health.”

“I’m sure that you and Nikki can work it out," Mark said. "Just talk to him. He loves you.”

* * *

As she drove back to Aunt Toni’s house, lots of things were on her mind. Gunner loved his dad so much; and Tucker was barely two years-old. If their marriage was indeed over, Nikki would give her the house without a doubt. But that house would be meaningless without him. 

A black Ferrari was in her aunt’s driveway. Gunner’s eyes brightened. After Nicole parked the car, he sprinted out and ran to the door. With Tucker in her arms, Nicole walked into the house with mixed feelings. She saw Nikki holding Gunner. 

He looked good.

He put Gunner down and went to Nicole. He reached out his arms. Nicole handed Tucker to him carefully. After getting a kiss from his dad, Tucker squeezed, “Da!”

Gunner held onto Nikki’s leg. “Dad I miss you so much!”

“We are going home,” Nikki said. “You hear that boys? All four of us.”

“Yay!” Gunner jumped up and down.

* * *

The four headed back to their large, white Scarface mansion. Gunner made Nikki promise over and over again that he will not leave again as Nicole took Tucker to his room. After seeing her small son asleep, Nicole went to her bedroom.

Or _their_ bedroom.

“Hey,” Nikki joined her. “There’s something I must tell you.”

“What is it?”

Nikki sat besides her on the bed. 

“At rehab, after I quit cold turkey, I had flashbacks. Remember that year we met and I took you on our tour? We stopped at a restaurant to eat. You had some beer, and you told me about your Porsche that was totaled.”

“I remember. Tommy was with a girl named Roxy.”

He took a deep breath. “Back in March 1984, we performed in Detroit. We were staying in this hotel, and we were very high. I barely remember exactly what happened. But somehow, we pushed a TV out of the window. It landed on a blue car.” 

“You mean you are the one who totaled my Porsche?” Nicole asked. “Interesting. The night before, in Detroit, I saw a naked man smashing a guitar around. It was the very first time I saw a man naked. I assume that was you? Or was it Tommy? You rock stars can get away with anything. It’s pathetic.”

“I didn’t get away with it,” Nikki said.

“You went to jail?”

“No, even worse,” he said. “I lost you. When you had Tucker...I had so many fucking nightmares about it. I dreamed that you died, and then Nona appeared, telling me this is the punishment for what I have done. When we pushed that TV out of the window, it never occurred to me that someone could’ve hurt or died from what we did.”

"Like what happened to that poor girl yesterday," Nicole said. "It was on the news. Some crazy college students got high and pushed a television out of window. It landed on her car and she was in the car. She was only seventeen, went out shopping for her senior prom dress. Funny thing is, I thought about go that same place to buy a new dress. It could've been me."

"She was driving a fucking Mercedes too," Nikki said. "When I heard the news, I thought it was you. I went fucking crazy and called Aunt Toni. She said that you're fine."

Nicole looked at him and said, “Nikki Sixx, you are bad. You were bad when you totaled my Porsche. You were bad when you shot heroin. You were bad when you left liquor bottles around. But you are good too. You turned yourself around and kicked your addiction. You held my hand when I had Gunner and Tucker. I was mad at you but it doesn’t mean that I stopped loving you. I did want to get away from you for good, but after it happened...I missed you.” She paused and added, “After my mom died, Dad kept her ring with him. He never loved another.”

“I know it's hard for you to believe, I do have a lot of respect for your Dad,” Nikki said. “Life is fucking short, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Nicole agreed. “We both have our near-misses with deaths. I nearly died on my twentieth birthday. I nearly died when I had Tucker. And you? You died from heroin overdose but revived by paramedics. You could’ve lost your life again had you not checked into rehab.”

And he wouldn't have checked into rehab had she not left him. 

“Aren’t we the two luckiest people on this fucking planet?” Nikki put his arm around her. “I’m heading to the court tomorrow. You wanna come with me?”

Nicole knew what he meant. “Yes. I missed you too Nikki. I missed the Nikki I fell in love with. The one who held my hand when I had Gunner and Tucker. The one who carried me on his back when my feet hurt. The one who kicked heroin and turned his life around.”

Nikki kissed her on the lips. “He is right here, baby. He’s back. He will never leave again.”

That night, she laid in his arms. He held her hand and hummed a song in her ear:

 _Fly to the moon_ _  
__We'll take my rocket ship_ _  
__It's outta sight_ _  
__Oh so outta sight_

 _Leave your head_ _  
__Check into this time_ _  
__Check your mind_ _  
__Let you sparkle shine_

 _Pass the sun_ _  
__Say goodbye to everyone_ _  
__We'll fall in love_ _  
__As we pass the sun_

 _Hang from a star_ _  
__Forget just who we are_ _  
__It's outta sight_ _  
__Oh so outta sight_

"Baby I love you," he whispered against her hair as she fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regis: You are still with Nicole?
> 
> Nikki: Yes, we have two beautiful boys. The love is very deep. It's a soulmate thing.
> 
> -Nikki Sixx, 1997


End file.
